Feeling Good – how to be happy in 3 simple steps

We all want to feel good, happy and inspired with every step and breath we take in this wonderful life. Yet many fail to achieve this balance of happiness and live in misery cursing the life they have failing to see the beauty in it.

During unsettled times we are often advised by friends and family to “think positive”. But what does think positive really mean. I often wondered this myself and with time I believe I have narrowed it down to a set of 3 “key” actionable points to feeling good by thinking positively. Here are these points in more detail:

1. Become aware of your emotions

• Emotions are your “automatic” reactions to events in your life. They are as Anthony Robbins calls them “patterns” – a fight or flight response with various intensities based on the trigger. Emotions last from few seconds to couple of minutes and no longer.
• Stacked Emotions = Mood. You may have heard people say – “Leave me alone I’m in a bad mood.”. This typically happens due to “stacked” emotions. The stacking process begins when a trigger is set off (say bad breakfast) and a negative pattern is set off automatically. The response to this could leave you cursing the bad breakfast. Then another event occurs which sets off another bad pattern yielding a negative emotion. The stacking is one bad emotion after another. By the time you leave home for work / your next set of activities you may be in a “bad mood”.
• Therefore, enough of these “bad” Emotions will lead to a “bad” Mood. Bad Moods are your worst enemy. They can last for a full day! Which is why you need to learn to control your Emotions in order to have “Positive Moods” resulting in a blissful day.

2. Smile – it’s contagious

Ernest at LA's Laugh Factory

We are taught in our childhood to not show emotion because it’s a sign of weakness. Thus we wear a lifeless mask in the public, especially during business encounters. What we were not taught is that your facial expression affects how you feel (see point 3 below). Putting on a sad face or a smile directly produces the feelings that the expressions represent, according to a new theory of how emotions are produced.  For more detail on this research visit an insightful article in NY Times here. Smiling is a sign of Strength & Good Character – it should be encouraged because those individuals that smile are positive, self motivated and optimistic. Optimisim empowers problem solving. And don’t forget, happiness is contagious!

• It takes less muscles to smile then frown. Yes it’s true! This century old saying by Charles Darwin and William James still holds a lot of scientific merit. More on this topic here.
• You certainly don’t want to look grumpy in your senior age – so smile.

3. Change your physiology since it affects your psychology

“Put your head up, shoulders back and smile – the world looks better from above.” – Tony Robbins

• We all know this, but we never pay much attention to this simple habit.
• When you feel low, tired and unhappy go to the gym and get a workout. I guarantee you that you will feel better. Think of all the times when you just finished a work out and how great you felt. This is because the act of moving is beneficial to your health. Your body inside starts to feel good and thus in turn has a positive effect on your psychology.
• Tony Robbin’s quote above also hold a lot of merit. Look at those who are unhappy with life – they “droop” down, head down, shoulders in, scraping to be happy. The world looks a lot better from above. Put your head up, shoulders back and smile – you will notice a lot more around you and see the world from a better angle.

How to destroy a bad mood

Wow, some great ammo here to get you feeling good right. These steps are easy to implement, you can start doing them as of now. But there is still one more golden bullet required – how to destroy a bad mood. Since moods are harder to change, changing your “state” is required to change your mood. Here are my top 3 which work every time:

• Go for a long walk and leave the worries behind for an hour. Breath deeply during this walk and think back about the day’s good experiences (learnings) you have gained.
• Take a hot shower or bath with Epson Salt. Epsom Salt is amazing for relieving tension in your muscles and this will certain relax you. Check out my previous post on Epson Salt and it’s benefits.
• Meditate to clear your mind & give it a “reboot”. Meditation has been around for a long time as a form of relaxation and stress (anxiety) relieving tool. It’s easy to do and anyone can practise. If you want to raise it a good notch spend an hour in a Floatation (Isolation) Tank.

Here are the links to my previous posts explaining these techniques in a step by step format:

• Breathing: http://blog.ernestsemerda.com/2009/11/24/breathing-the-elixir-to-a-healthy-life/
• Meditation: http://blog.ernestsemerda.com/2009/12/04/the-monkey-mind-how-to-bring-inner-peace/ and
• Isolation Tank: http://blog.ernestsemerda.com/2009/09/03/floatation-isolation-tank-fringe-science/

Do it now!

If you feel like you are miles away from happiness realise that you are only 2mm away. I encourage you to watch this amazing YouTube video from Anthony Robbins talking about our perception of achievements in our life and how close things really are. There is also a great book on this topic on Amazon by David D. Burns called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated. I recommend you read David’s book to gain more insights into feeling good.

As always, I love questions, so ask away!

Enjoy,
Ernest

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Tagged as: affect, anthony robbins, behavior, emotion, emotions, feeling, feeling good, happiness, happy, human behavior, human interest, mood, physiology, positive, psychology, simple steps, smile, think positive, wonderful life