Visual, Auditory or Kinesthetic – list of words to use for effective communication

You may recall my post in 2009 about understanding each other using primary human modes. That is, there are three primary modes that people use to process thoughts during communication (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic — both emotions and physical feelings). Just like being right handed primary, each of us uses one of the 3 modes as our primary form to convey messages during communication. Understanding which one the person you are speaking with is using is a step forward to better communication.

Recapping each primary mode

Note, the following applies for right handed people. For left handed switch the right to left and left to right information.

Visual:

• Speaker will primarily look up / up and to the side as they process information (answers to your questions). As if looking into the sky for an answer.
• These people are known as “the fast talkers” because visual memories are a lot quicker to put into words.

Auditory:

• Speaker will primarily move their eyes left to right / right to left (from ear to ear) as “they need to hear” what they are saying.
• These people are moderate speed talkers.

Kinesthetic:

• Speaker will primarily look down and to the right as “they need to feel” what they are saying.
• Typically these people will be slow talkers because to feel their response before speaking, this takes longer to come out.

Note: Don’t get confused with people looking down and to the left – this is common when people are having internal chatter like reciting a preplanned script e.g. actors or individuals during an interview with a pre memorised script/s exhibit this behavior.

Communicating effectively

You may have came across indivduals where you didnt just click or something was missing after your discussion. There is a high chance this may have been the choice of words you used to communicate with them. Their primary mode of communication might have been different to yours and thus the two of you did not connect and ended a discussion prematuraley.

To avoid this happening again, try to recognise the other person’s primary human mode. Once recognized, add (or change) some words & sentences in your communication. It isnt about changing what you say but how you say it.

Step 1 – identify their (speaker’s) primary mode

• Listen to their choice of words, how their eyes move and speed of speech. My previous post on understanding each other using primary human modes talks about other indicators you can use to get this information.
• Ask about the weather “how is the weather today?” – always a favourite. Is the weather, sunny (visual), warm (kinesthetic) or windy (auditory). Or, “is your car” – yellow (visual), safe (kinesthetic – volvo drivers) or noisy (auditory). etc…

Step 2 – add the appropriate “words” into your communication

Here is a list of keywords you can throw into all your communicaiton in order to get a “better” message across and be heard, understood or caught on. (which of these clicked for you?).

Visual	Auditory	Kinesthetic
see look bright clear picture foggy view clear focused dawn reveal illuminate imagine hazy an eyeful short sighted sight for sore eyes take a peek tunnel vision bird’s eye view naked eye paint a picture	hear tell sound resonate listen silence deaf squeak hush roar melody make music harmonize tune in/out rings a bell quiet as a mouse voiced an opinion clear as a bell give me your ear loud and clear purrs like a kitten on another note	grasp feel hard unfeeling concrete scrape solid touch get hold of catch on tap into heated argument pull some strings sharp as a tack smooth operator make contact throw out firm foundation get a handle on get in touch with hand in hand hang in there

Step 3 – add the appropriate “sentences” into your communication

Step it up a bit and use appropriate full sentences to respond back or ask questions. Some of the common ones you can use for each primary mode include:

Visual	Auditory	Kinesthetic
Let’s look at it differently. See how this works for you. I can’t quite picture it. Let’s draw a diagram or map. I’d like to get a different perspective. I never forget a face.	That sounds about right. That rings a bell. It’s coming through loud and clear. Tune in to what I’m saying Clear as a bell. That’s music to my ears.	That feels right to me. I can’t get a grip on this… Stay in touch. Get in touch with… That doesn’t sit right with me. I have good feelings about this. My gut is telling me… I follow your drift.

Step 4 – have fun!

Don’t forget that having fun is when you are having an effective communication. Once you are connecting and communicating effectively with the other person doors open to oportunities and you really get to learn and grow from the experience, building rapport quicker and even new friends. Everyone has a story to tell and once you are listening and communicating effectively the world is your oyster.

As always, I love questions, so ask away!

Enjoy,
Ernest

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Tagged as: auditory, Body Language, eye, eyes, kinesthetic, modes, nlp, phrases, visual